Sleepwalker

I was never the  same after you left

Clinging to you and the memories long past,

and my bedsheets as suns rose and set through window panes

With my remaining strength I desperately rolled out of bed, walking through life in a day dream where tea cups remained unbroken and the universe was still.

As the fugue wore off, I  couldn’t help but wonder if you thought of me as much as I thought of you.

Every accomplishment, all the praise, seemed bittersweet because you were absent from it all

Even though I realized the separate paths we now walked, I hoped that they could intertwine so we would meet again,

and share stories and laugh inn an embrace like nothing had happened

It’s a fool’s dream and I am a fool

Knowing full well that you now enjoy the company of my replacement more than you ever enjoyed mine

Tea cups remain shattered and the universe constantly in motion

Yet I continue to count the days until we meet again

Your siren’s song still echoes in my mind

and I’m still the victim drowning below the surface even as you beckon him to your honey-laden call

May I continue sinking so I can reach the bottom and start over.

 

Author’s Words for Thought

“There’s always a siren, singing you to shipwreck. Some of us may be more susceptible than others are, but there’s always a siren. It may be with us all our lives, or it may be many years or decades before we find it or it finds us. But when it does find us, if we’re lucky we’re Odysseus tied up to the ship’s mast, hearing the song with perfect clarity, but ferried to safety by a crew whose ears have been plugged with beeswax. If we’re not at all lucky, we’re another sort of sailor stepping off the deck to drown in the sea.” –Caitlin Kiernan

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