Bottle Caps & Tic Tacs

Beaten and abandoned I crawl within myself to escape the pain that waits outside the confines of my mind

Attempts to cope have resulted in failure

I’m such a failure

Futile efforts leading to fruitless stagnation as I reward myself for counting down the minutes until I’m miserable again

Misery loves company and I continue to sleep alone

Never good enough for anyone or anything

Even as I desperately crave an affection that I don’t even remember

Staring into picture frames, I remember better times and a better man compared to the fetid waste that stands forgotten to all

All that remains is to consume pills like tic tacs,

bottles and caps clacking on the kitchen floor

A long and painful death awaits, but that’s okay;

I’ve lived lifetimes of pain, so a few days isn’t anything at all

They won’t find me until the stench of rot pervades the air

Just as I’ve lived a lonely life, so too shall I die alone.

 

Author’s Words for Thought

“Some people think they’re depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: ‘You hate where you live, you’ve lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you’re depressed?'” –Graham Norton

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